Looking For Angels
by Amy O.e
Summary: Claire is alone in a frightening world, after being abandoned by those around her. A person can only take so much pain, suffering and heartache. She will find her escape, no matter what.


**Warning: Contains suicide/major character death. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Morganville Vampires in any way, all rights to Rachel Caine. **

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The prospect of death was soothing to her, a comforting thought against the evil and darkness of the world. She had reached the conclusion that her life was pointless, that she was nothing more than a waste of precious air and a nuisance. That had been proven to her on countless occasions. Her own family were distant, communication between them ceasing to exist.

Those people she had believed to be her closest friends had closed themselves away in their own perfect little world, just the two of them. And the man she had loved so dearly with every fibre of her being, had taken her fragile heart and completely shattered it into thousands of pieces, leaving her alone surrounded by the shards.

She was alone in a frightening world, the voices in her head being her only company and the blood encrusted knife by her bed. She just wanted it all to end. The pain, the loneliness, the suffering, the crying, the voices; everything.

There really was no reason for her to live any longer than necessary. That life she had always dreamed of living as a young girl was gone, nothing but a faded fantasy. Her intelligence only served to bring trouble, not only to herself but to those around her. She was a burden. In her twisted mind, she knew that the downward spiral into her depression had been caused by Morganville. The town was damned. If only she had never enrolled in the University and instead, gone on to live her dreams and live the life she had craved with her entire being.

She would have been happy, with no pain or suffering.

But it would all be over soon, very soon. She could feel the drugs taking its toll on her body, making her weak and drowsy with each passing minute. The empty bottle which had been filled with the white pills, lay forgotten on the floor, evidence of her earlier deed. Twenty-four pills, all downed with water from the broken glass on the floorboards.

She had crammed each handful into her mouth, forcing them down her throat and afterwards, she had smiled, knowing that she would die soon.

With trembling hands, she retrieved the knife hidden inside the dresser beside the bed. The blade gleamed under the sunshine filtering through the window, so tempting and inviting. Smiling ever so slightly, she raised the knife and pressed it against the pale skin of her wrist, watching in awe as the skin broke and a tiny drop of blood appeared.

Fortunately, nobody else was home. The happily married couple were gone out for a meal, while the man she still loved was out with a new woman. She could do this with no interruptions, with nobody to stop her if they even bothered. Blood spurted from her wrist as the blade tore through the soft flesh and ruptured the veins, the pain barely registering in her mind. She had grown accustomed to this pain, relished in it. It was her escape; a way to leave everything behind.

A single tear slowly slid down her pale cheek, followed closely by another until they were streaming down her face in thin silvery rivulets. She gasped lightly when she removed the blade from her wrist, intent on inflicting the same wounds to the other one. Afterwards, the coated knife slid from her grip and fell onto the floor, bouncing upwards before landing, sending drops of blood splashing outwards.

Her shaking body slumped back onto the soft blankets off the bed, one arm dangling over the edge. She felt the blood sliding down her arm, along the path of her hand and listened as it dripped onto the floorboards with a faint tapping sound.

So this was how it felt to die, alone and in pain and crying endless tears.

But she was grateful and relieved, for she had wanted this for so long and it was finally happening. It wouldn't be long now. Her body was sickeningly pale, weak and heavy, the wounds continuing to spurt blood from the damaged arteries and veins and flesh. Despite all of that, it felt nice in a way. She could no longer feel anything, everything was numb. Her hearing was fading too and her sight was becoming blurry, unclear, dark. She breathed deeply and slowly released one final breath, eyes closed and a small smile on her lips.

Death was soothing and peaceful and it welcomed her, wrapping its black tendrils around her body, bringing her down into the depths of its darkness.

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_**The End.**_


End file.
